Part Two: Saboteur
When you look up the meaning of #Saboteur, you will come across this definition – ‘a person who deliberately destroys or obstructs something’ – at least that is what I found online.
I refer to this because this is exactly what I had happen to me whenever I laid out my plans. I ended up not carrying them out to fruition, or I just never started at all.
In fact, I had a term for it – ‘Murphy’s Law’ – I had convinced myself that best-laid plans will always go awry. It made perfect sense in my mind until I came across the notion of #procrastination.
📌Procrastination is knowing what to do, having the ability and desire to do it, but still not doing it. Although there are many apparent causes for procrastination, the root cause for this illogical behaviour resides in your unconscious mind.
📌What you need to do is to change your automatic behaviour which resides in your unconscious mind, that part of you that controls all the vital functions of your mind and body. You can try and overcome procrastination by using willpower but it will usually be a short-term change. The cause for procrastination is not your conscious actions, but your unconscious associations that are to a large extent responsible for your behaviour.
In my case, what started out as pleasing my father, ended up with perfectionist behaviour. I was overcompensating for what I perceived to be the truth, that I was not good enough for my father.
I inevitably became a workaholic and I convinced myself that if I worked hard, I would be better. This led to me overthinking things, being risk averse, and delaying in doing things unless they were perfect.
📌Safe to say that procrastination is the effect, not the cause, it is the hidden patterns within us that are causing us to procrastinate and not drive our actions in a timely manner. 📌The Saboteur in us is active and if not tamed, does not miss an opportunity to rear its ugly head, and destroy or obstruct our plans. I know this, because I am a recovering procrastinator